A.I.G. is At It (A) 'Gin. $100 Million in Bonuses! Please wake me when this is over.

My fellow suckers, er, I mean, Americans:

Wall Street does not need another bail out. It needs a massive rout out by the Orkin Man. Sadly, I am not sure if there is enough rat poison on the planet to get rid of the infestation of vermin that so determinedly resides there. Rats hate bright lights, so everyone grab a torch or flashlight. We can hunt them together.

Damnit.

The news a few hours ago is that A.I.G.'s government-appointed chairman, Mr. Edward Liddy (who can't seem to keep a lid-dy on the money pot) has been cowed by, and I am not making this up, a bunch of lawyers who have apparently told him that $100 million in bonuses must be paid to the very people who brought A.I.G., and part of our economy, to its very knees.

Here's the kicker.

Just a moment, though, it's more than a kicker, it's the umpteenth sucker punch.

Mr. Liddy tells us, woefully, that he must pay these bonuses in order to retain these people; people who might otherwise leave.

Memo to Mr. Liddy.

1. Planet Earth is calling. Wake the f*%$#k up!

2. Fire the lawyers. They, as usual, don't know J-A-C-K. Looks like they know Bill, though, as in Bill-by-the-hour (in six minute increments, of course).

3. Fire the people who got us in to this mess! Why, in the Lord's Holy Name, are these people still working at A.I.G.?

4. I want my country back. Please leave the keys under the mat.

We must get our heads screwed on correctly here, people. I wish no personal harm to the people at A.I.G. Many of them were likely following orders from some unknown lever puller who is likely enjoying Spring Break in Gstaad. Even so, they need to go take their talents elsewhere - and with haste.

I am sorry, but I simply don't believe that there are not enough brains in America to fix an insurance company. Hello! It's an insurance company! It's not a neuro surgery practice.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time to calmly assemble along West Side Drive and proceed, heads down in shame, to the southern tip of Manhattan, for a sit in. We might as well get used to sleeping outside, no need to delay. Please bring your own torch.